The Beatles are an acquired taste for me; I think it’s because I was into the whole hip-hop/cool thing in high school, and The Beatles most definitely did not fit into that spectrum. Now, however, I can listen to Can’t Buy Me Love over and over and over again.
Ever notice how happy kids don’t write in their diaries very much? They don’t have to. Life’s too fun. Diaries are for when life isn’t fun. They’re for figuring what went wrong.
AGH! Srsly, one of my most missed memories from the 90’s.
Next purchase ($39.99)! (Thanks to Molly Lynch at Venus Zine for posting the awesome news on Staff Favorites).
Daria DVD has what you’ve been looking for - the best quality, uncut, commercial-free Daria set available!
ETA: It’s not official but it’s the best thing out there and MTV will never release Daria on DVD because of the music licensing. Still going to get it.
Although at times I do miss the simplicity of high school, I am glad to have moved on. And, my journals from that time period are just as absurd and silly.
I woke up at 11:30 and stumbled out of the apartment and across the street to the Coffee and Tea Exchange to get a chai latte. While inside the store, I heard one woman refer to her friend as “Alex.” The name continued to run around in my mind until I got back in my apartment and I remembered a boy I went to junior high and high school with and was quite fond of for many years. I thought of him, and went to his Facebook page, and looked at a few of his pictures, only to see that he, like many people I went to school with, still remained friends with his peers from a younger age.
When I think of the people I went to school with who I still talk to on a semi-regular basis, the number is less than 5. I don’t necessarily feel bad about this. In high school, I had a lot of acquaintances and a close group of friends. I was in a weird social position because I danced on the drill team with the rich, popular girls though I was not one of them. I knew their relationship problems, the number of abortions they had, the types of medication they took, the amount of times they were in rehab and yet I was not a part of that group.
On the last day of high school, most of my fellow seniors began hugging and crying once the last bell rung. I made a mad dash for the exit and didn’t look back. I’ve been back to my high school twice since then: on the day of our graduation and to visit with my old coach during the dance team tryouts.
All of this is to say that I found many of my journals from those years in high school and trying to understand my thought process at the time is difficult. A lot of things I thought about and wrote about were pretty absurd.
For example, I had a huge crush on a teacher who’s classroom was right next to my newspaper class. In one entry I wrote:
I overheard a girl say that [redacted] is being investigated for having sex with a senior varsity volleyball player. When I heard, I was clearly shocked. However, a part of me felt jealous. And angry. I know that technically, I’ve never spoken to him let alone been anywhere near relationship status with him. However, when I heard the news, I felt betraye. Someone got to him first. I’m annoyed.
And then this mini-entry about my old friend Kate and my Honors and AP English teacher:
When Kate and Mr. Heidkamp have their “one-on-one” conversations in class, it seems like they’re having mini mental orgasms. Like, “Ungh, oh yeah, Faulkner, I’m coming.”
And this:
It’s very easy for me to criticize people but when I am criticized, it becomes an entirely different story. I’ve been extremely bitter since [redacted] criticized my story. I especially don’t like people of his nature. You know, people who don’t know when to shut up. I’ve never wanted to slap someone as much as when I spoke to him. He annoys me.
And this, which I wrote down a lot:
I really want to fuck him.
And then a lot of other stuff about The Shins and how they were totally going to be the best band ever, and having my teammates warn me against “filling out my uniforms” for the dance team, and arguments with my parents, and college worries, and how high school is bullshit.
He called me last night!
I can’t believe I got a B on my final!
That slut’s gonna give the whole lacrosse team herpes!
As absurd as some of my thoughts were, I still kind of wish that everything was so dramatic and life-changing.
i NEED sleep.
i’ve been considering lately, as i often do instead of hw, the myriad components of my life. which are basically an unfathomable collection of events, all things considered. and when i say, all things considered, i truly mean the entire spectrum of my existence.
some of which are;
my ex-boyfriend, the internet, frank sinatra, my crush on chris may sophomore year of high school, buying my first pair of heels, my ex-boyfriend, moving to miami, camp, my father, my job, and my ex-boyfriend.
